Much preparation is required before listening to Jacco Gardners second album “Cabinet of Curiosities”. Here at GIGsoup we’ve done the hard work for you and made a fool proof list of requirements (yes, I know lists are lazy journalism before I get a million emails)…

 

  1. Purchase a copy of the Jacco Gardner – “Cabinet of Curiosities
  2. Phone 3+ friends and ask them to make themselves available forthwith
  3. Locate a forest. Preferably with a clearing
  4. Purchase an assortment of flowers (sun flowers would be a good choice)

Done? OK and now onto the format of the day…

  1. Meet your friends in the forest and undress (including underwear)
  2. Play your copy of Jacco GardnersCabinet of Curiosities” through an iPod or other appropriate device
  3. Frolic around the clearing occasioning hugging trees and scattering flowers on the ground
  4. Occasionally hug your friends telling them how much you love them while all the time still dancing a merry jig
  5. Done

Yes, yes, yes. It’s all a little immature … I know. However, this album just baffles me. There is an obvious talent here but the entire album is so tedious it actually starts to grind on you. Is it clever that it sounds as though it’s straight from 1969’s Woodstock?

Here’s another little exercise. Listen to the album in full. If you’re still awake at the end of it then put on something like … oh I don’t know … let’s say the Joy Formidable. Did you feel it? Did you feel the life returning to your body and your heart start beating again?

And another thing that I just don’t understand, the first track on the album “Clear the Air” is fantastic. In fact it’s incredible. But, it sounds nothing like the rest of the album. For a start it’s really up beat, it sounds modern and most importantly it actually left me wanting more. That desire ended by the time the second track was 30 seconds old.

If I’m honest I’m still trying to work out if this is some crazy joke or it’s supposed to be ironic (not in an Alanis Morissette way … which contain no lyrics of ironic content) but a legitimately ironic way. In fact I’m so utterly confused about this album that I’ve actually drawn blood on the top of my head I’ve been scratching it for so long.

The other interesting fact is that so many of the elite music press seem to love this album. Many have gone on record about the great arrangements and the way it’s captured the 1960’s sound. Yes, it does capture the sound of the 1960’s but so what? Who cares? Buy a Doors album.

In fact, because I’ve been such a misery throughout this review I want to give you another listening option. If you would prefer to listen to this album in a non-forest, non-naked environment and you have a few quid then follow my final list. It reads as follows…

  1. Purchase a DeLorean  DMC-12
  2. Invent the flux-capacitor
  3. Obtain some plutonium or predict the precise moment lightning will strike a clock tower
  4. Set the clock on your newly built time machine to 1969
  5. Take my copy of the album with you

 

Download: Clear the Air

Rating: 1 out of 5

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